Introspection: part 2

http://picasaweb.google.com/107117356931581378530/UntitledAlbum#5551284646660168114

Part 1
...the image with the jar follows with the fantasy feel and this idea of perception. I did two of these images where the jar is in front of my face, blocking and distorting my view and looking at the picture, it blockers the viewers view and helps to add to understand of the skewed perception of self (myself). I like this one more because it reminded me of the hunchback of Notre dame, in away, but this wasn't what I thought of when I first made this image. In the Disney film, you usually see 3/4 of his face, what I remember of the film, that angle stands out more as you see how "grotesque" he is, his hunch and face are the focus. Because I wanted this part of my project to be more about a skewed, distorted vision, out of the two images with the jar, this one is more suited. There is something quite unsettling about how the shadows hide part of the face and the hand is creeping around the jar, and the one eye is larger and focused in the centre of the photo looking out at you.

My next image after this, of me holding two pairs of glasses follows the perception idea. As the one with the jar was more about the perception of self, as the focus was more obviously around the face (because the jar was encompassing it), This one was more about the perceptions you have within yourself and the ones outside of your head. So it is basically the way you look at things in the real world and in an artificial world- "A Double Vision". I had a slight Jekyll and Hyde idea with this, you can see me in the reflection and me with the smirk on my face. When you are out in the every day world you act differently than when you are by yourself, alone and isolated with your own thoughts. The angle of the second pair of glasses was used to show a different angle to the whole idea of this image, and the capturing of my reflection was my accident, but I think it helps the image.
After thinking of ways to focus on my self, I looked at focusing on others, I took pictures of my friends, and my family and I went back and took pictures of myself, but as a younger character. Cindy Sherman influenced   the idea of me dressing up, and becoming a different character. These next two images where I added text are about my memories. I thought adding the text would be crucial because I didn't want people to read too much into these images, unlike my others where self-interpretation was key, these images are relaying past events, memories that are factual. One reason why I did not shoot these images in a a documentary type setting- like how Jim Goldberg takes to the streets- was because I wanted to keep within the themes of how I took my other photos and keep the scenes within a conceptualized setting- not having them seem like they were reflecting "reality".

The image of my Nan and the light infront of her head and the text add to the bottom was looking at how I think of her. My nan if very important to me, and in this photo I took of her she stands bold and headstrong, central in the photo and the light highlighting and outlining her character and form. I think the text and the photo work together and show how stubborn and independent she is. With the text, I looked at Lorna Simpson and I also thought about spoken poetry where certain words are said with intensity to stand out. The word are about how my nan come and goes to help me out and look after me, but she stays as a background figure. The "Night Traveller" part was to stand on its own like the start of a letter to someone. The next two lines where the "come back" is louder and bigger than the other words is because those where the times I felt I needed her to hear me and come back and help me when I felt I was on my own. The last part I left a gap, as to say I taking a pause and reflecting and I made the text smaller almost like a whisper because I did not want her to know I couldn't cope being left alone at times.

The other image I took influence from Jim Goldberg's work where he asks the people he photo graphs to write something on the photo to help people understand more about them. This image where I am walking through the woods holding my teddy bear, central in the frame looking quite small in comparison to the trees standing tall around me, is a good image on its own in terms of how the scene is set you can understand that the character is young or child- like quality about her. However, I wanted the text there so people didn't read too much into the image and create their own interpretation. I wrote the text quite scrawly and added part of it at the top and bottom to show the changing of thought on the situation. I created this idea of a memory I had from when I was younger thinking that I wanted to escape the situation I was in, but also thinking about what would happen If I was too far away from it- would I regret that decision; so I created this scenario.

The images after that where about the many faces of fear. The way it marks us, takes us over and changes us. In these images I was not trying to be myself, but I was trying to be the "fear". I experimented with shutter speed to show the transformation process when the fear consumes you. It's very frantic, and you're almost in a daze or a blur when that fear is there. The fact that the images are black and white is to show that contrast, and how much it strips you back and reveals so much about you. Because of how alot of my images are focused on the face, making the photos more closed in and focused, I think this helps to bring out more of the emotion and meaning in the images.

I chose these images to put forward as my final images because of the way they tell a story individually, but together they show a progression of events- almost like a timeline. In the animation I think it becomes more obvious.

Childhood memories continued...

Following the idea of basing this series on a 'storytale' theme, I did this one based on Red Ridding Hood. I stood my camera on a tripod and reduced the shutter speed. I really wanted to have the shutter speed high so I could freeze the motion and the action, but because of how dull the lighting was in the park I couldn't do that, but I think this works just as well. Even though the i'm not completely visible in this photo (which adds to the mystery) and i'm blurred in a way that gives a sense that I do not want to be in this place. The way the trees are standing firm in their place at either side of the character gives a sense of entrapment and contains the scene.

With these images I thought I would get more into the role i'm wanted to portray. I ditched the lollipop, as I thought the teddy bear would hold more meaning and threw on a blanket, pyjamas and my hair in pigtails. I was trying to make myself  to be this stereotypical image of a child. This photo made me really think about the movie A.I. where David is roaming through the woods with Teddy after everyone else had abandoned him. The character in this is meant to be: curious about what is out there, quite self -centered/naive and I think that comes across by positioning the character in the middle of the shot, but in need of something to hold onto to keep her company and to keep her safe. I think this series where I dress up more for the character worked out better than the photos with me in the black coat. I went back to it and added the text to the to it, to make it more personal and like it was written by a child.

Memories

I wanted this one to be personal like the childhood Stories, but like how Lorna Simpson structures her text along side of the images they seem like stanzas in  a poem. I looked at layering the words across the image, while highlighting certain words that I wanted to stand out as they are the most important clues to what the image is about. This photo is one I took of my Nan on a previous shoot. She looks out me alot, especially when I was younger, when my mum would come and go out of hospital, but because she is old, stubborn, always travels around Birmingham with her heavy bags I worry about her. The light was supposed to outline her shilouette, and act like a lighthouse light that guide the Shipmen ashore. I wasn't too fond with the text across the photo, so I shifted it to the side, Catherine gave me the idea of making it like pieces of spoken Poetry, so certain words stand out more and create more of an impact.

Childhood memories continued...

Thinking of how Cindy Sherman gets in the role for when she portrays her characters, I decided to look into ways I could portray myself as a child, and also creating a scene. I though about stories from when I was younger, stories like Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, Alice in Wonderland or even Artificial Intelligence. I remember being kind of jealous of them when they went on their adventures, but there was always a apart in these stories that made you worry for the characters and their journeys they take on their own as they are only children. This image was more of a test shot I like the dark contrast in the image the way the trees encase the character in the scene and loom over me. There is that sense of panic and worry as the scene is so empty and in the middle of know where and the character is holding her teddy and her lolipop, walking through without any direction or path to guide me.

Childhood memories...

These images are supposed to represent memories that had a big effect on me as a child. I was thinking it would be best to have these images follow a documentary style at first like Jim Goldberg's series "raised by wolves", with a child to play the character of me. I also liked the personal touches in his work, where he would as the people to write the thoughts, or feelings to aid the image. Some other people that influenced me were Cindy Sherman and Lorna Simpson. Lorna's work takes a more conceptual approach than Sherman's. Her work is very structured in terms of the way she creates text and the way she creates her images. Everything is stripped down when she takes her photos. A large majority of then are studio based, she keeps her backdrops plain, her models are turned away from the camera and very little of their face is shown that strips away their identity (like Waterbearer). By having the background plain it draws attention to the mystery of the character displayed which draws you in. The text gives more structure and understanding to the photo, but still leaves some mystery, so it still leaves a space for you to add your own interpretation of the image.  I then looked into Cindy Sherman and how she creates a character using herself as the model. I liked how her images seemed slightly satirical, like an over exaggeration of how we view people.

I experimented with making the image feel more personal like how Jim Goldberg allows people to write over his photos. The text seems very scrawly, because I wanted it to seem like it was written by a child.

Street shots continued..

I like these diptych ideas because they are about the ways in which you read into an image or situation. When we look at thing we always look for clues that will help us out, lead us in the right direction and give us an overall sense of what is going on. Both of the images in these diptychs work well on their own, but paired in the way that they are, it  is the signs and the righting that is the focus of them. In the top diptych the image is very empty in terms of visual information to help you understand the image. I took the pictures in this because I liked how the scene was marked by the text. The graffiti claims ownership over the area, and the words change how you view the picture. With the bottom diptych, the street sign is centred in the image so it is the main focus, maybe bringing that into focus more by having the background out of focus more would help bring our attention more to the sign. But by having the background in focus we still search for we this is, but the trees and the pillars seem to block alot of this information and seal us out. the photo next to it is more clear and brings us closer to a clue, a way out, it's more focused, and gives us a better idea of where we are supposed to go. 

Street shots continued..

I like the amount of detail that is brought out of the image by changing the contrast and leaving the middle portion of the photo in focus it gives you a clear idea of direction, as you follow the brick wall to the end of the photo. The brick wall leads you on a journey to the end of the photo, which is interesting, because by changing the perspective and composition in a certain way, you are manipulating the viewers eye to think in that way, and follow your story instead of the viewer searching for how they think they should perceive the image. At the end of the 'journey' the viewer see an out of focus shot of a row of houses leading out of shot. From there on they can come up with their own idea of where this image is leading them because the background is out of focus, out of reach, you do not know if the image is leading us to think that this image is about being lost and trying to find a way home, about a journey to some place familiar etc.

Street Shots 2

Argh, blogger is so annoying! I tried to undo some typing on my last post and it deleted the whole thing!!

I took these shots at the bottom of Slade Rd. The weather was quite dull and dreary, so I didn't think the images would stand out well if they were in colour. Taking influence from the Wille Doherty exhibition we went to when we went to Wolverhampton, I did the shots in Black and White because the contrast in them made the images stand out alot more and drew you in.

 I think this was the best image that I took. The monochrome look really helps to set the scene. The block in the middle is the first thing that draws you in. the leaves scattered around it, the pillars that keep the scene contained. It all fells empty, but there is alot of info in there to create your own narrative.

 I could have composed this one better. I don't think there is alot going on here and maybe the mid-tones could be changed, if I was to retake this image.

 Another one of my favourites. I love the contrast and  how the different objects work against each other quite well. I don't thing I had an idea in mind when I took this, I was just looking around and waiting for something to catch my interest. I guess they work together quite well because they both have a similar function. At the bus stop you are sitting and waiting and the same can be said for the bench.

Street shots

Looking through my blog I thought I put this up my Street shots, sorry if i'm putting this up a tad late. I find landscape photography really hard to do, because i'm more comfortable create scenes from my own ideas, with landscape everything is already laid out for you to work with and it's hard to pick a specific spot to hone on to.

I took this while we were walking around Wolverhampton  and I thought the street looked quite warm and inviting even though the day was cold and quite dull. I went to Gimp to try and recreate how I thought the street should look. I altered the saturation and tried to make the corners look like there were light leaks at the corners. I'm not too sure it looks right. I think I may invest in a lomo camera, because I want to test some ideas on an actual Holga camera to see if they would work well. Can we develop coloured film at college?

This was my first attempt that didn't turn out too well.
Should I have Saturated the above picture with more colour like I did with this one?

Ideas...

Is it ok that I don't take many alot of photos for the time being? I want to come up with ideas and sketches and gather materials to make my ideas even better. I'll do test shots, though.

Leah Johnson

http://leahjohnston.com/index.html

Her blog

I really like her ideas behind her photographs. The thoughts behind them are really introspective and her images provide enough narrative to make you think and understand her world.

Valley of Regret

"You came to me this evening
In the shadow of a kiss
I thought that I had lost you
To the early morning mist
You took a humble helping
While I took all I could get
You took my heart and hid it
In the valley of regret

I trembled in your branches
Like a newly opened leaf
I was a shipwrecked sailor
That was waiting for relief
Who sacrificed his body
To the ocean in your debt
And took his final breathe inside
The valley of regret

Eclipsed by lust, we reveled in
The irony of youth
I took to magic mirrors
That did not reflect the truth
You took to making altars
To a secret statuette
Who ever would have thought
we’d find the valley of regret?

You damaged me with rainbows.
I ravaged you with rain.
I thought the only way to love
Was through a path of pain
We sang our sappy love songs
As our summer sun was set
Then burnt our angry torches
In the valley of regret

I’m fighting on the battle lines
I’m giving it my best
I probably will die here
But at least I took the test
I’m raging for the glory
And I’m running for the sweat
I’m taking all my chances
In the valley of regret."

"I brace myself for another
repeat.
The inhale/exhale of all things.
I ask myself
If I can handle
The ebb and flow
Which will sustain
And eventually damn me.

Does it matter if I don’t have a choice?

I feed the meter.
I read the scriptures.
I heed the words of my elders
Who tell me
To stitch sturdy knots in the fabric of my potential
Who tell me
To fear the great and inevitable
Consequence.

My skull is seething
I feel my bones begging
For a revolution that may never come
When I may cast off the shackles of polite existence
And go back
To eating berries."

Cycles of Sadness

                                            

                                         Step 1:Reach till it hurts

                                                         Step 2: Break

Creation

I experimented with putting my images from an earlier shoot-made a post titled "frustration"- and put it in a video. I don't know if I prefer it like this or if I prefer it in grid form.

The many faces of fear

"There is nothing to fear, except fear itself".

I took these pictures on the Saturday after we went to Wolverhampton. I took them after I had just came back from the hairdressers. When I was at the hairdressers I need to get some money from the atm across the street, on my way back to the hairdressers, a man followed me into the salon, said he's seen me around perry barr before, that he liked me and he would pay for me. I was panicking abit and I didn't want him to pay, but I also was slightly shocked to discover he know I go to perry barr- seeing as I do not go there very often. So that outing gave me the idea to images that are based around fear.
 I just took them in my room in front of a white piece of paper I stuck on my wall and  I experimented with shutter speed to depict the panic, confusion and uncertainty that takes place when you are overcome by fear. I wasn't trying to be myself  in these portraits; i was trying to be something else. I'm not to sure why I painted a white mask on my face (I probably took influence from Nicholas Mepahne's work). Someone said during the critique week that these look like mugshots, and I agree. The background is stripped down and basic, the only that is kind of exposed is the "thing" in the portraits, but even then, there is a mask protecting the it. We don't know what it is or who it is and I think the simplicity of the portraits opens the images to a wider range of questions.

I'm thinking of doing a series of images and putting them together to make a stop motion video. I'm going to jot down some idea to see what I can come up with.

Oh dear...

I haven't been online in over a month because i've had trouble with my computer. I'll start uploading regularly again.

Continued: Week 2 portraits

The hunt for light

 These two images are my mum's and my nan's hands and a light from the floor is shiningdirectly below. Because of the blur it kind of reminds me of those old movies where an alien is approaching and they add blur around the outline of the creature, which gives that unsettling feeling that you don't know what is infront of you.

My Nan came trundling up the path to my house yestarday, and as usual she was carrying a ton of shopping in each of the 4 bags she had with her. My mum had just brought this whopper of an Umbrella and the shopping, my nan, and the umbrella gave me this idea to take some pictures under the street lights. We headed out around 9:30 and it took us a little over 30 minutes to take all of the pics. It took a little while to look for the right spot with good light, but eventually we settled down the road from my house in my local GP car park.Even though my nan was a bit annoyed (I think you can tell in a few of the photos) that she had to stand out side for so long and some of the shots are a little too dark or out of focus, it works for the majority of them and adds a softness to some of them.

Week 2 portraits

 

Out the two...

I'm unsure which photo looks better.

They are all abit too dark. I have a bit of trouble getting lighting right when I take photos.

I can't choose which shots out of this selection look best. Some are blurred, some aren't but I like them all. I really wanted to find a lone street light, that was shining brightly while my nan stands underneath it,  looking like a lone traveller with only the bright lights watching over her journey, and guiding her home. It reflects on alot of who she is- quite stubborn, stands alone, strong. This makes me worry sometimes, because she is alone so much that no-one would watch over her if anything was to happen. 

Sketchbook examples

A few of these are digital versions of sketchbooks, but I still think they look rather interesting and could be done in a similar way using traditional media.

Dust

This idea was extremely difficult to get right. I had to juggle my lamp in one hand and the talcum powder in the other. It took me over an hour before I called it a day, and stop trying to shoot it exactly as I pictured. I think I had the sandman in mind for this shot. It is supposed to be as if i'm the keeper of dreams, the ruler of my subconcious world in this shot. The talc pwder didn't work too well mixed with the glitter, I think the glitter was weighed down by the powder, so it refused to move an inch, or I wasn't blowing hard enough, but I didn't want it to look like a dust cloud but more like a stream of dust.

Altered the image levels alittle on one of my computer programs that came withthe camera. Highlighted the hand and the surrounding area, by changing the contrast. The dust blowing away is the most important.